Friends. Family. Strangers. It’s been too long.
Why? Why have I abandoned you to wonder what on EARTH is going on with the one and only Florence Zanardi? As Nonna would say….I don’ta believe it! But I solemnly swear not to do it again. Probably.
There is so much to tell, and all in good time, but for now, let’s begin with the ghost who steals Nonna’s forks, earrings, and the remote.
I pulled into the driveway a few days ago to find Nonna outside mumbling to herself and appearing to be searching for something, and talking to herself. When I got out of the car and asked what she was looking for and who she was talking to, she said, “I’m asking St. Antonio to find the earring that the ghost took.”
This ghost excuse has been used before. In fact, she tends to lean more toward the ghost excuse than the rational ones. For instance, several times I’ve come upstairs (I live downstairs) late at night to make sure the doors are locked and that she hasn’t fallen asleep with a lit cigarette. She’ll be half dozing on the couch, and I’ll sit down to watch the last 15 minutes of Criminal Minds (hellooooo Shemar Moore). More than once, she’s woken up, looked at me, looked back at the tv, then as I stand up to go back downstairs she’s gasped and said “Oh! I thought you was a ghost! Mah no, it’s just Courtina.” Why would her mind go to ghost before granddaughter who lives downstairs? I’m not sure, but it happens a lot.
So, back to the outdoor earring search party in 100 degrees.
“Can I help you look for the earring Nonna? When did you last see it?”
“No no no, you can no find it. The ghost, he took it. Only St. Antonio will get it. I know.”
This is a little insight into the rationale of Nonna: Ghost + Saint = The Answer. Human Granddaughter = Ridiculous Suggestion.
Even though I’d been shunned for a supernatural solution, I began searching with Nonna. Neither of us survive in heat well, so eventually even I have to give in to the hope that Slimer took it and St. Antonio would somehow win it back. We go inside, and several days pass without me thinking much about it again.
Until I came home later that week and saw Nonna wearing both earrings! I asked her where she found it, and she said she didn’t find it, St. Antonio did.
“Well, where did he put it for you to see?”
“Rrrrrright on the table.”
“That’s impossible Nonna, we eat at the table every day. We would’ve seen it.”
“I know. You see? St. Antonio. I pray pray pray, and he bringa it back.”
Nonna’s a lot of things, but she’s not a liar. And like I said, we eat at that table every day. So if the earring showed up on the table, days after “the ghost” took it, I started to think I better just believe that St. Antonio really did deliver on the goods.
Until I looked across the living room and saw Grandpa giggling in his recliner.